I have a nice patriotic story to share

Work is busy - so busy I forgot I had jury duty. Okay, that is really just an excuse....I completely forgot I had jury duty, would be a more accurate account of what happened

Apparently the clerk at the courthouse failed to record that yes, I did fail to show up to jury duty BUT I called the next day when I realized it; and she kindly asked "how does your schedule look for October?" (no sarcasm there). I should expect the summons paperwork in the mail, no worries about a fine or jail (both of which I offered to give to avoid a damn warrant getting issued).

Instead, I get this nasty letter that my ass will go to jail if I don't call immediately and I am in contempt and blahh, blahhh, blahhhh!

Not giving a shit about the day, date or time because I can't change it; well, I guess that translates to me being unpatriotic.

I would be running to Canada right now but my passport has my maiden name on it - and we all know how freaking crazy it is to get one these days. Besides, I will have to enter a federal building to get a new passport and BAM - there shows up my dissident existence on some clerks computer screen.

So instead, I guess I will make up for my unpatriotic behavior by doing the patriotic 4th of July celebration - drink and set some shit on fire.

Creative Labs has it going on! Piss on Apple....your specs came in almost last for sound quality. Quit ripping off the general public with your showie "I am easy to use shit" (and some mayor of some city; who waited in line for hours to get a new toy; but got interrupted when a dude with a mohawk wanted to know what you were doing about increasing crime rates, while you sat in your "portable" chair in front of the Apple store for that new toy).

Put this cabbage patch baby syndrome to bed....some of us are tired of it.



A hippie with punk rock tendencies I am...Kevin hit that shit on the head when we met years ago. I now have a label

Here is a super short sample of the jigs flowing through my Aurvanas and Zen Vision as I work away - yes, still working at the wee-hours of the morning....b/c the Hippie in me wants to work the least amount of hours possible in 2008 and the Punk in me is willing to kick ass right now to make it (financially) happen.



oh yes, let me not forget a reason for J to start shit (no crab grass, hows just about grass, religion or politics?). Pick a song

This weekend is the official "Atlanta Gay Pride" festival. I read something today that city officials want to charge for the festival, then take the proceeds and distribute between various not-for profit organizations.

Hmmmmm. I vote to say kiss my ass! Charge for festivities and give to the failing functions of some cause that can't raise money on its own. I would pay (and say go for it) if I knew the proceeds would go back to the gay community.

But we all know how that goes. "Ummmmm, we the City diverted, divested and cleaned up that dirty sin money...." Hell, we live in the South - where gayism can only be treated through god (and some weird-ass dance with snakes). It is pure sin.

But they will propose to exploit this sin for money. Okay - I would go but I will be the one jumping over the fence to avoid admission fees (and collecting my free personal lubes)!

Ahhhh jeez. I started this post cuz I have some pictures and it is Pride weekend. Never meant to get my undies all in a wad. So here is Pride 2006.

Horrible picture of me - but a fitting facial expression since I was soaking wet and showing of my free "personal lube" that was chucked at me from a float-full o' qeens





Not sure if I am going this year - one can only collect so many trial size, free lubes ya' know.

Data conversions....YUCK. So I shall divert my attention to fun stuff.

I read Angie's blog (4 kids I must be nuts) and her goal of keeping her kids from getting bored over summer. As I commented on her blog; my generation never got bored! Then my noodle started recalling all the crazy stuff I did before my parents divorced when I was 8 - SO, here are some of my accomplishments and experiences pre-8 (I tend to leave these off the ole resume, even though I am quite proud of some of them)

We took the legs off grandma's table while they were on vacation and drug the top over to my house. With the ingenious use of old phone cable and several kids....we hoisted that sucker 15 feet into a tree and nailed it down. Dad wouldn't give me a fort so I took matters into my own hands.
Result: 1 week no human contact. Several butt spankings. Confused Grandparents when the saw only the legs and screws to their table on the kitchen floor

Neighborhood kids bet the littlest kid (me) to ride the boy bike down a really steep hill that ended on the busiest street in town.
Result: Took bet. Couldn't reach peddles to brake. Used feet. Lost virginity. Had the first "scoot down and spread your legs" conversation with a doctor

Neighborhood kids convince the littlest kid (me) that cherries were made out of the insides of a red hot pepper.
Result: ate innards of pepper. Cried and ran home

Neighborhood kids bet the littlest kid (me again) to cover naked body with Crest and keep it there as long as possible.
Result: took bet. burning skin like hell. Crying to Mom who was beginning to wonder what was wrong with me

All girls taunt boys with names.
Result: Christy got shot in the ass with a bb gun by said boys

Give smallest kid (guess who) an egg and everyone head down the street on metal roller skates to scope out the car that was deserving of egg.
Result: Missed the Honda and hit the Corvette. Skated home and hid inside. Mom calmed the guy down when he came knocking and made me promise never to tell Dad

Give Mom a bouquet of flowers.
Result: neighbor came home to find a hundred sticks in front yard that had flowers earlier. Lied to Mom about where they came from. Mom rolled eyes. Neighbor hated us forever

Get on the back of a bike with no shoes - weeeeee.
Result: had to walk back up the street to find my pinkie toe. Lots of blood. Really freaked out parents

Start fires and dig through trash for cool finds
Results: found a cool washboard and the phone cable that hoisted up the table top for our fort. Nothing else

Mom was preparing to leave Dad and got a job
Result: had to stay at neighbors house that made me eat liver once a week!

Said neighbor turned out to a be a little weird so my babysitter was now my cousin, Mike
Result: developed my first crush on an "older" man of 13. learned that a 13-year old boy gets a kick out of putting a 9 volt battery on his braces

Said cousin needed a life and was tired of the little kid (guess who)
Result: new babysitter was my best friend's Mom. She lived with her boyfriend, Don King. He had a mean Doberman and a big white Cadillac. She would sleep with cops for bags of confiscated pot. At one time she was a pro wrestler - we loved to put on her plastic "boobie protectors" and strut around the house. She was pretty set in that department and we only had mere buds. Occasional adult wondering if the Don King I knew then is the Don King of promoting

Father/daughter time
Result: learned archery and won several trophies. Poked out a lot of fish eyes. Witnessed an uncle pee on an electric fence in a cow pasture. Perfected my camping skills

What crazy shit do your remember from your summers?

Yup - here I am putting up my song a day late or 6 days early. You pick.

I love this song. I grew up on this music. I would sit down in the living room, carefully put the turnable needle on the vinyl, plop the headphones on that were twice the size of my little kid head and stare at the cork wall listening to my parents' music.

The Moody Blues, Jefferson Airplane, Bob Seger, Jethro Tull, Fleetwood Mac, The Who, Beatles.....and the list continues.

There was one song by the Moody Blues - which album or song escapes me - but the first song started with sounds of thunder and rain. It scared me to tears every time - but I played it over and over; as loud as I could stand it(clue #1 my parents' kid would turn out a little weird)

I loved the Beatles the most, though. "Norwegian Wood" and "Lucy in the Sky w/Diamonds"....all the later years stuff. I would pull out the poster and 8x10 photo insert from the White Album and stare at the most beautiful Beatle of them all....Ringo Star (clue #2 my parents' kid would turn out weird - who in the hell had a crush on RINGO?!)

My father once told me a funny moment (which I do not remember). We were camping and sitting around the fire on logs singing our favorite songs of the moment. I was around 3 or 4 years old and belted out the lyrics to "Aqualung"

Sitting on a park bench --
eying little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose --
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Drying in the cold sun --
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Feeling like a dead duck --
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.

His mouth dropped! I just knew I liked the song and had no idea what I was signing about.

But back then I did wonder if it was appropriate for the The Who to sing, "Deaf dumb black kid sure plays a mean pinball"