Follow these steps:



1. Go to www.google.co.uk

2. Click on maps.

3. Click on "Get directions".

4. Go from "Atlanta" to "Paris, France".

5. Scroll down in the directions to number 22

If I don't post for the next 20 years, you know where I have gone

I worked at a troubled property a few years ago, and the events of any given day rarely shocked me. It seemed anything that was unbelievable, was just par for the course.

I get a call from a terrace level (a nice term we use for dungeon apartment) resident that she had flies in her bathroom.

I think, "thanks for telling me! now go clean up your nasty apartment."

But what I really say is, "I'm not really sure what I can do about that. Pest Control doesn't spray for flies."

She proceeds to tell me that they are coming through the wall, the small crack between her drywall and shower tile. They are huge and when she swats them, blood spurts out. They are also leaving their little maggot babies all over the floor.

So I agree to go to the apartment. This isn't the first time I heard of this and the result is always the same. You live like a pig and now I have to file legal crap to make you get unnasty in 30 days or move so other people around you don't suffer.

She opens the door and to my amazement. Clean. Not just clean, but spotless. Oh shit! I look at her bathroom as she requests and high tail it to call mnt and the animal trapper dude.

We return and tear out her bathroom wall to see what has died under the building. Trapper dude spots it two units away....but it is too far to really tell.

I get a key to the suspect unit and enter. AAAAAKKKKKKK. My heart races, checking behind doors and in closets, expecting the worst. No way could someone live here and NOT complain about the smell of decay. The resident must be deceased and deceased in the unit. I just hope this one didn't die on the toilet, these ones bother me the most....and for reasons you probably don't want to know.

Mnt calls me into the master bedroom. Oooohh. They found source of the smell. We remove the items from her closet and the drywall has all the signs of what is on the other side. A nice brown, oily spot on the drywall at the floor says....Chanda leave now and let the guys deal with it! But nooooooo. I stick around for some sick and unknown reason.

Drywall comes out and we all gag and run. Now for trapper dude to gag, this is bad. He puts the drywall back in place and says, "I didn't bring the supplies I need for this. I need to go to the truck."

He returns with a shovel. Cat is no longer cat, it is liquid cat. Pure liquid with a little bit of fur mixed in....we determined it was cat from the fur color. And the possums were leaving their markings around liquid cat, which said (according to trapper dude) "this is MY lunch!"

Deciding lunch will not be happening for ME today, I return to the office and call the resident to apologize for entering without notice and disrupting her things but given the situation, this was a matter of emergency and we could not wait.

She thanked me and said that she noticed a fowl odor for the past couple of weeks and had been putting in glade plug ins but they weren't helping.

To this day, Tropical Mist Glade fragrance smells like nothing more than liquid cat to me.

No, this is not some new high-fashion bar drink but another crazy apartment manager story (and boy, do we have a butt load of them). Yes, people think we make this shit up.....but trust me, we ain't that creative!

Just yesterday I heard one of the worst (weak stomachs stop reading here!)....a dude not right in his mind and health was encountered in his apartment as the sheriff and manager entered to proceed with eviction for non-payment of rent.

While they knew the guy was a little nuts; 98% of the people in apartments are deemed "nuts" by us managers; and knew that he had some health issues....what they found was beyond anyone's wildest dream.

It turned into a 911 call and the guy was rushed to Grady due to massive wounds and infections on his leg and foot - the manager said one wound was so deep, his bone was exposed. His foot was swollen beyond the size of a basketball.

Based on the wounds, the best guess from emergency workers right now is that his dog had been snacking on his leg for quite some time.

Hazmat had to be called in due the fecal matter strewn from end to end of the unit and blood everywhere.

I have encountered a dead guy in an apartment that was being snacked on, but never in my wildest dreams would I think someone would come across a living person being snacked on.

But wait, I was here to tell the story of liquid cat.

Or maybe I will leave that story for another day. Something tells me your stomach may be turning right about now and liquid cat is not going to make it any better

Ya'll thought I moved to the suburbs, huh?

 

No drunk dudes passed out in our lawn

 

no stolen cars driven into neighbors houses

no kids gathering for a picture (at the scene of a car accident) posing once they heard "this is going on the internet"

Butch is gone

There is a new house in place of the blue String-E MachinE

The corner store that burned is now for sale to put up really expensive housing

There will be no "edgewood olympics" this summer

BiggieT hasn't slummed it in months

This year brought gang violence and my ass down to homicide. I get to testify when it goes to trial...don't ask. On my way to homicide the next day, I pulled up to a stop light (2 blocks from the house) just minutes after another shooting. I yelled at passer-byers to get out of my path - "I seem to attract drive bys lately! Move away! Move away!"

Butch lost his house and Marcellas lost his house. The ladies down the street have 2 pigeons that won't leave and keep shitting on their driveway and Red is still kickin' cans when he walks by our house yelling at the dogs, "when we go 'coon huntin'?" He has said that for 6 years now

This year has not produced the really "photo-funny" shit that I like to blog about. So we will rename this blog "Edgewood Recap"

I miss my old neighborhood and I miss the old times.

This confirms my suspicions that Bush thinks he is GOD! He granted Alberto Gonzales - "eternal general" today in a speech

I wonder if his dumb ass misread Attorney General. Nah, we (as in the collective "American" we) couldn't elect somebody that illiterate

On another note: I haven't brushed me teeth today. ..care for one?

Gross? Yup. But I get out of bed, make coffee, feed the furry and feathered kids - then hit the computer. I work on the computer all day and my phone rings non-stop. I intend (and usually accomplish) a shower after the first cup and a few email responses. But NOPE; not today. I answer my calls from the calls beeping in....I virtually never get off the phone. So showering and brushing teeth are difficult with a headset on. I used to race to the shower just moments before Rob would arrive home from work....but some weeks are more demanding than others.

My husband must really love me....I just covered up the funk with a glass of wine and a fork full of roasted garlic.

K- must hit the shower now. Just reading my words is nasty enough