Not the winged variety....but people that come forward in the most surprising and unlikely ways, to help you cope with your own headspace. To SHOW you "it will really all be okay"

From this day forward, I am officially a different person thanks to my Angel.

I don't have words, only tears to show my gratitude

I am not feeling like expressing my shit here.....and here is where I usually feel good to express.

I may be back when my noodle clears of the constant rotation of the same thoughts - just swirled at different frequencies.

I know what I am about to type may be controversial. I also know my my brain is working faster than my fingers on this one, and the outline of this may be less than logical or structured; but I will proceed anyway....

Crime and victims of crime.

Many cases of "victims" are of people that have exposed themselves to the crime that is committed against them. Leaving items in your car, not paying attention to your surroundings, allowing a stranger to see the inside of your house (like an innocent sales person that is actually casing the inside), rubbing elbows with the wrong crowd, etc. Even being in the wrong place at the wrong time I would not consider "random", but more just bad luck to be a bystander of the intended victim (which could be directly related to rubbing elbows with the wrong crowd). If you feel skeerd to go in the ghetto, don't go...people smell fear just as quickly as animals.

May I also say that the "victims" I refer to are thinking adults. Not kids, mentally ill, physically disabled, etc. that are taken of advantage of, without a physical or mental capacity to resist.

The (reported) increase in violent crimes is more about people that have become so greedy or angry, they feel they have the right to take what is someone else's - even if by force.

Don't get me wrong, I wish I didn't have to maintain a heightened level of awareness to avoid falling victim.....but this is a part of my blood. And by no means should my statement be taken as the ignorant statement of "you got what you deserved".

Now on to the beheading in Canada....

I don't think the incidents of the crime this man committed are increasing in any way. I am seeing a lot of comments that revolve around this story where people are stating that "the world is getting worse" (and not just on BS). Sure it is. But not these types of crimes. Let's know when to discuss that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and when it is just a madhouse. They are two differnt animals.

The media is relaying it around the world faster, but these violent, calm and calculating crimes of pure randomness and complete insanity have been happening for centuries. Serial Killers, actually, were most abundant in 1983 - with an estimated 38 killers that claimed over 5,000 Americans - and over 10% of these killers came out of of So. Cali.

Yet in Germany, the highest rate of serial murders was in 1930.

Check out the history of school shootings, Columbine was not even close to the first incident. Just the first to get mass recognition.

Canada is not exactly known as being a country that breeds insane killers like the US....maybe that is why this appears more disturbing than the "smiley face killers" that have attacked in 11 states around the US, claiming 35 lives since 1997 - some in very recent months. Or maybe not. I don't know. I guess this could go down with weirdness of Gein's killings or that of the Black Dahlia.

Serial Killers are defined by the FBI as someone who has killed more than 3 people over a period of time, and experience a cooling off period between murders. This is how they differ from the classification of spree or mass murders. But the mental state is also defined as;

perpetrators that have abandoned any notions of simple decency, to test how far they can stretch the bounds of morality.

Am I saying this guy was a serial killer or that I understand his mind? Absolutely not. I am also not a professional in the areas of crime stats. Just what I perceive to be the logic, contrived from my experiences. With the exception of a couple of serial murders, they all did some jacked up and strange things to their victims' bodies.....stretching the bounds of morality. Killing under the right conditions can be considered moral - but to mutilate a body post death, that would be testing the boundries.

As disturbing as this crime is, there is no protecting yourself from random acts of violence. This is plain mental illness, and there isn't a gun in the world to protect from that type of person or randomness. Sure, be aware and be careful....but anyone could have been in that seat on the bus that night. Anyone.

My heart goes out to the victim's family. To have suffered such a tragic loss, only to be compounded by world-wide recognition over the brutality and shock of it.

I would imagine there are similar feelings the families that lost loved ones to the hands of, Gein, Dahmer, Gacy, Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, Albert Fish, Manson.....they were random crimes and more than likely, unpreventable. The victims were made famous as a result of a madman's (woman) voilence.

My point being, daily reported violent crimes are in no way in comparison of this act of insanity. I understand that this would conjure up thoughts and fears, but I don't unerstand how the two crimes/worlds can both be "going to hell in a handbasket"....sometimes it is just going down the rabbit hole.

I saw that Angie (4 kids I must be nuts) had this video up. She said her kids are replaying it over and over. Errr....I have watched it 3 times now (okay 4 times now, since I came back to edit grammar). This is cute as hell.



While I am at it, might as well put up my favorite kid song.



See ya'll soon. Headed back on the road again next week.

This week kicked my ass at home so maybe the road will give me some relief. I had to put together a full market analysis on 5 properties for the Carlyle Group - I got 3 days notice. Luckily, the 50, full color, bound books of information are being printed by my partner (today and tomorrow). Too bad she doesn't drink wine any more. That was my only saving grace last night (oh and the 1/2 pound of crab legs and 2 martinis at a kick ass new restaurant in Midtown with some friends - but I am paying my dues today...)

Could explain why the silly videos are so appealing to me right now

Kind of like a little kid testing the waters - you know what works (positive thought and energy) and what doesn't work (allowing the negative to take over).....but sometimes, I suppose we just need to be reminded of it.

Okay, maybe I need to be reminded of it.

Since my conscious effort to wipe out the negative, pick myself up and move on. I made some phone calls today to drum up business.

What the Fuck?

In my 3 phone calls the following results just popped out like a kid from the womb.

Call #1. I have a big job to do a Raleigh market analysis for a world-wide investment firm due next week.

Call# 2. Holy shit. I just signed a new contract to begin training for a large software company. They are flying me to Dallas so I can get certified on their newest products - so they can pay me to teach more classes. I trained some of their biggest clients back in 2005 and while the travel sucks, the money is great. And who knows what cities I will be in this time around - I just may holla' at some of you to grab a cup of coffee if I am in your area.

Call #3. One of the larger companies in the industry wants to hire a private contractor for said software. I left a message and we shall see if they call back....either way, 2 out of 3 kicks ass.

So I am not planning on testing whether the vibes I give out equally give back again any time soon. And while work does not solve all of the issues I have right now, it certainly takes my mind off the things I cannot change and it is one of the pieces in the puzzle I need to put together.

woohoo. Thank you again for everyone who sent positive vibes! It made all the difference in the world!