Whew! I thought there for a moment with the admissions of veiled identities on Blogstream recently, that I too am a veiled identity living in the freakin' suburbs! That the Estates part of Edgewood Estates was no longer an embellishment, but reality. Or maybe I would wake up to find a pair of striped legs and ruby slippers under our house.
We get our mail every day; people mow their lawns; they garden; put up wood fences around their backyards and the sounds of police helicopters are only passing over - headed to someone else's neighborhood. And I have not seen a pack of stray pit bulls in months.
Granted, I am not home very often - but come on!
This has not been the Edgwewood Estates that admits people to the hospital on New Year's Eve (leaving church) from a falling bullet after the gun firing ceremony. No drunk dudes passing out in our lawn. No high speed police chases up our street and nobody has tried to sell me crack in ages! And all of my flower pots are still on my front porch (maybe because they are only full of weeds and tree seedlings, but still; the pots are teak). Now I must admit the lack of stray dogs is a very welcome change - although they most likely met their demise when animal control picked them up and that makes me sad.
But alas I am reminded that my house was not whirled up into a tornado and dropped in the land of flying monkeys with Dark Side of the Moon playing faintly in the background.
Crazy Ray (who lives around the corner and looks like a black bozo the clown) has a teenage daughter who hooks. Crazy Ray gets drunk and rides around the 'hood on his 10-speed yelling his crazy concoctions of words and phrases, with an occasional "I'm gonna' kill that mother f%$#^" whenever he catches her turning a trick in her bedroom.
Bear got lucky today.
Bear and crazy Ray's daughter were seen entering the Blue StringE MachinE (see picture below - although it was looking pretty good when this picture was taken)
They exited about 20 minutes later. Bear was sporting a shit eatin' grin; she was arranging her short skirt with green in her hand.
For a while there I was thinking we might need to add a white picket fence out front, plant some petunias and enforce a mailbox color law around Edgewood Estates.
