So I am at yet another turning point in my career and I hate this shit. I am not one to move around from job to job and in January I was laid off due to downsizing with a total tenure of 12 years.
This was a great opportunity as the company still needed my services and I had built a reputation that landed me a couple of other contracts. So I decided to start my own consulting business. So far things are good – not getting rich but working half the time and making about the same money – and I do it from home or get to travel to client locations all over the country.
Now the company that laid me off is outsourcing their asset management by mid-year, thus eliminating the need for me.
My other contract was luck. A large company decided to convert their software at the same time I was laid off and I was chosen as a trainer for the rollout. This project will be complete in June. There will be other training contracts, but enough of them to keep $ in me pocket? Hmmm I have to ask.
I have come to realize that self employment may not be for me. I lack some motivation (not lazy just not a go getter to drum up new business) and it takes a ton of energy for me to sell myself. So far everything has just been placed at my feet based on reputation and I know this may not last.
So, here I sit wondering how I should spend my next 3 months! Hit the pavement for a real job, start working the business or something else? A real job will need to meet some requirements that will be difficult.
Commute time cannot be what it has been since I have lived here. 1 hour each way plus the Friday afternoon commute that often exceeded 2 hours. Most people keep moving to be close to jobs, could not give up the excitement of my neighborhood
I will not be a landlord again! But that is where 10 years of my career experience is and I do not have a degree. Crap.
I don’t want to walk into a crappy company. I have found what the hell “quality of life” means and I will not let another job dictate my moods or outlook on life.
Did I mention I have a salary requirement? Shit! This is looking a bit hopeless
Or, I bite the bullet, spend $ on getting the certifications I need to back up my knowledge – work odd jobs to cover expenses, eat ramen noodles (anyone have that book of 100 Ramen Recipes? Kindly send free of charge and postage paid to my mailbox in Edgewood Estates) and hope to fucking god that gives me a larger foundation to keep consulting or it gets me a real job.
And my husband is very supportive...he is also an optimist, which I am not. So his support sometimes goes to the wayside in my pessimistic attitude that he is looking at life through rose colored glasses. Double SHIT. The support he gives me is supposed to help me along- not make me beat my head against a wall. Have I mentioned that I am a bit of a mess? Or maybe our Sagittarius/Aries combo has not found it's perfect groove just yet..
Wait clarity has arrived! I could just spend the money every week on lotto tickets and a psychic to provide me the winning numbers and quit stressing over this shit.
