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Edgewood Estates


 Friends and money NEVER mix...
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Posted by chandabear at 11:19 AM - 15 Comments   Add a Comment  
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chandabear:

Nowhere in your post do you mention that you got a dated and signed IOU for the loan. That was a mistake, even between friends. When I was in the military service, I made a loan to a friend who later transferred to another base. After waiting several weeks for him to repay the money, I sent the IOU he had signed to his base commander with a letter explaining the circumstances and had the money returned in short order.
 
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by Whit's Whittlings (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 11:45 AM




That is what I love about the military - when they didn't pay their rent, I could always make a call to the commanding officer and get paid.

IOU isn't bad. I sometimes trust my friends too much...or assume everyone has the same ethics as I. My mistake
 
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by chandabear (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 12:03 PM




Hard situation Chanda with friendship. While it is important that you get the money back I would ask if it is important enough to lose the friendship over. Secondly I would definitely be firm and tell him you expect to be paid back and that he trusted you enough to call you when he needed help, the least he can do is renew that trust by paying his debt immediately.

Bear Hugs!
PolarB ;)
 
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by PolarB (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 1:03 PM




Thanks PB. Yes, the friendship means a lot to me. But the way he is pooing on me and avoiding all of this, I don't know that our friendship can be restored.

I added a piece to this (probably while you were commenting)...that a mutal friend, who went and got him out of jail, called him 2 weeks ago and asked if paid me back. She called him out (she is a much tougher cookie than I). She said he hasn't called her since.....now the three of us always talk at least once a day.

he clearly isn't willing to face his responsibilities, but my guess is he thinks it will all be peaches and cream again once he does gets around to paying me. Those actions are actions by people I don't like. Ya know?
 
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by chandabear (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 1:08 PM




It's when the going gets tough that you find out who your real friends are.  
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by chandabear (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 1:09 PM




Yeah I do understand. I've ended a relationship because somebody crossed a line before. It's a tough call and you have to do the thing that gives you peace about it.

Bear Hugs!
PolarB ;)
 
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by PolarB (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 1:14 PM




I have NO advice here. (Somebody better frame that sentence, LOL) I couldn't decide for myself what to do when my nephew did that to me. I never saw my money, and we haven't spoken as family in years. Calls when he's drunk once a year.

Sherry
 
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by Sherry'sCherries (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 7:51 PM




Chanda:

I feel for you.. every time I loan money to family or friends in need, (Yes sometimes Jail is involved.) the money I loan them always seems to develop amnesia, and I never see it again. I always say that a one sided friendship is no friendship at all. do whatever you have to to get your money back before he forgets about it completely, and then cut all ties with him. Good luck.
 
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by Scratch (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 8:03 PM




Sherry,

LOL. If anyone could have steered me in the right direction, I thought for sure it would be you!

I put it out in the universe today (on the blog) - not sure why, just needed to and guess who called? Yup he says he is coming by tomorrow with all but $100 of it, and could I wait another 2 weeks for that?

I am glad he is doing the right thing, if for no other reason my selfishness that I don't have to carry around a negative remembrance of him
 
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by chandabear (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 8:13 PM




Hey Scratch! That sucks doesn't it? Something so not important to break up a trust between people. God help me if I die a rich woman - I would turn in my grave to know people fought over me after I was gone!

I put it out in the universe today (on the blog) - not sure why, just needed to get it off my chest.....and he called a this evening. (he doesn't know I have this blog so it was pure coincidence) He is coming by to pay me most of what he owes me and will do the rest in a couple of weeks.

Maybe you should blog about this amnesia money loaning you have experienced and see if maybe the universe is working in everyone's favor.
 
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by chandabear (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 8:18 PM




I'm sorry to hear this happened..... I guess just cut and run.... trying to get him to pay isnt worth taxing your emotional well being..... although, I understand you wanting to choke the life out of him... at least next time he is in jail.... you wont get the call.

Silver linings...
 
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by Randy (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 8:32 PM




in appalchia we pay 'em a little visit and have a few "Bubbas" take 'em out back and rough'em up~! and extend their due date leaving them with a little remembrance of well...  
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by Bella (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 9:51 PM




Since you have the bail bond paperwork, you can take him to small claims. He probably won't show so you can get a ruling and have his wages garnished. Most enforcers take a hefty percentage.

Rule one...NEVER leave the phone on after you go to bed.
If they are dead, they can wait..If they are dying, they are best helped with a doctor, the same goes for injury.
Unless you have the money to throw away, never bail some one out, especially for a DUI.
 
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by capananda (PM , CC ) on Friday June 6, 2008 @ 10:27 PM




I'm glad you're getting it back. You try to help someone - & they usually EXPECT you to! - then they don't feel the need to repay you. Sucks, I know. I've loaned money with the promise of "next week" & it ends up being next year "when I get my income tax" or "when I get it, you'll get it". Um, that wasn't the deal.
At least he's finally doing the right thing.
 
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by Secret (PM , CC ) on Monday June 9, 2008 @ 4:18 PM




Yes, Secret it turned out great. He called me on Friday and said he would be by with nearly all of what he owes me....and he showed up.

I feel so much better. I hate the feeling of losing a friend over such crap!
 
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by chandabear (PM , CC ) on Monday June 9, 2008 @ 4:33 PM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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